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If you're having a hard time finding someone, the problem may not be them. Ever take a long look at yourself in the mirror, and think "what did I do so wrong now?" Well, you might be asking the wrong questions, to yourself. But it's okay. I found the questions you should ask if you're having a hard time finding that someone.

What are you truly looking for? – Do you really even know? This is where most of us go wrong. You try and play ball way out of your league and you get frustrated. So what is it you really want?

Are you searching in the right spaces that allow you to find that? – Sure, going to bars and hanging with friends is fun, but if you're looking for someone to share your life with it might not be the place I would start out at.

Has your behavior lined up with what you claim your goals are? – You might not be doing the things that would match the standard you’re holding someone else to. So if you're getting trashed every day, wearing mismatched sports gear and crocks you might be showing someone you really don't care about yourself, and probably wouldn't care much about them. Get your goals, and stick to them. Makes you look a lot better.

How are you showing up on those dates? – Yeah, it's not always the clothes you are wearing. This can also mean the quality of questions and conversations you're offering up, your emotional availability, and the vibes you’re putting out

How vulnerable are you allowing yourself to be? – It’s possible you’re being too guarded? Wearing it all out on your sleeve to the point where it’s overwhelming. Might freak some people out

What emotional/mental work do you need to do? – You owe it to anyone you’d like to be serious with to bring your most healthy emotional self to the table. You start off complaining, they may think that's all you do

What do you need to feel heard, understood, and seen? – Physical chemistry and compatibility are important, but you have to be able to talk to someone. If you would share your feelings, it might open the doors to their heart.

What patterns have you noticed with yourself and the partners you’ve chosen? – Don’t be afraid to take risks and step outside the restraints and limits of your comfort zone. Show a little spirit, it goes a long way.

Most think meeting someone is hard. It's really not, you can start with a lot of friends or a group of close ones and see what happens. Remember, good energy is infectious.

JROD